Portrait: Self

She always wanted to do something
criminal and dynamic. Robbing a
convenient store was on top of that list.

With jerky in her pockets, she’d scream:
“Give me the f**king money, motherf**ker!”
That was something she wanted to say.

But she favored misdirection in life and
was never good at yelling at folks. Exclamation
points, however, she was not afraid to use.

She always wanted to go to places that were spacious
and smelled funny. Some place far off, a place
that required vaccinations and water purification tablets.

She wanted her luggage lost and to be kidnaped
by guerillas. Her family could make pleas on the
Today Show with Matt Lauer.

But familiarity has a strong hold on her and she
hated missing modes of transportation. However,
she was a pro at taking the bus to and fro.

She always wanted to talk to insane people, the
kind that she could dismiss when she was tired.
The sort that knew when Jesus would return

“Could you be a dear and tell me if that man with
the blue dog is still following me?” “Are you LBJ?”
“I’ve got mashed potatoes in my pocket, want some?”

But voyeurism is more appropriate. She wasn’t
allowed to talk to strangers. She would do them the
favor, however, of making them into haunting portraits.