Two Hails for a Mary

For whom do those sirens toll for?
asked my friend, a hip girl. She tapped
her ashes in a glass ashtray and
silently mourned someones loss.
Do you do Hail Marys? I asked my
friend. She shook her head.
Tap-tap-tap
I wish that made a noise, said my
friend. I'm not a Catholic anymore
That or I just don't give a shit anymore.

I'll pick one for you, I said to my friend.
All right, said my friend. She ground
the butt of her cig and grinned.
Go right on ahead.
I say, it's because you just don't give a
shit anymore.
Why's that? asked my friend.
Because you'll always be a Catholic---No
changing that.
Mmh, said my friend. She sounded
thoughtful, if not hopeful. You mean to
tell me
that that there's a chance I'll start
giving a shit again?

I was thoughtful too, if not hopeful
I think there is no good choice here,
I told my friend.
I wonder for whom those sirens toll for?
With any luck, they might be for
me.
Or me, said my friend
Shall we Hail Mary for it?
I don't give a shit.

Are you Mad?

You ill reputed emotion
anger.
I can barely harness you
w/o seeming amateurish
I sound shrill not frightening.
I'm disappointed, beat
and torn and waiting to
tell my therapist all about it.
The version I tell her will be
indignant and rational, not
annoying. But it's her job
to sit there and nod thoughtfully.
You're a shoddily used emotion
anger
To stifle myself I'll say nothing.
Being full w/you
is not satisfying.
I turn out only petulant not frightening.